It's here...Christmas! And all the hustle and bustle of the season is starting to swell. Christmas lights are going up, trees are being decorated and folks are starting to make their Christmas plans and attend those office parties.
Christmas can be a very stressful time of year, adding addition tensions to any intimate relationship. Stressors include all the planning and organizing around food, gifts, visiting the various family members, and added on top of that is the effects of over-eating and over-drinking. The possible financial burdens that can come with over-spending at Christmas, exceeding your intended budget can lead couples into extreme emotional stress that may negatively impact the relationship.
So what can couples do to fortify their relationship?
- Communication is key, and at this time of year it is a vital strategy. Talking to each other before the holiday season takes hold is a way of setting a good tone and pulling together as a team.
- Set a financial budget, a spending limit for gifts, food, alcohol, etc...and stick to it!
- Ladies, men can use a little help at Christmas. Although it is awfully romantic to be surprised with a special Christmas gift, give your partner as many Christmas gift ideas as possible. Then he can chose which to get you.
- Discuss with each other how the holiday preparations are going to go. Where do each of you need help from the other? Start working as a team to accomplish the tasks of the season. Don't try to do it alone.
- Communicate early so there are no surprises. Last minute items will likely come up, but if you can minimize these then you can minimize and mitigate the added tension and stress.
- Still getting snappy and stressed. Best thing to do here is to be the "master of the obvious", meaning, broadcast what is your internal emotional state (the state that if obvious to you, but not to anyone else). Let your partner know that you are feeling stressed, overwhelmed and/or angry. Expressing yourself early can take the tension down. Ask your partner to help comfort you.
- If there are family events that you must attend and really don't want to, talk with your partner about how difficult this may be for you. We all have had to endure the holiday season at a family event/dinner that we'd rather not go to for whatever reason. But you don't have to endure this alone. Discussing your feelings with your partner beforehand and planning a way to manage the event can take a huge burden off one's shoulders. Talk about a predetermined time to leave the gathering.
- Lastly, one of the most effective ways to avoid getting into arguments with your partner is to limit how much you drink. Going from one event to another and another is tiring. It also likely means having another drink at each venue. This combination leaves you both tired and dehydrated, a nasty setting for a couple to possibly get into a fight. Talk together about how to limit your drinking and support one another in this endevour.
Lastly, I'd like to wish all the subscribers a Happy Holiday season.
Be safe, be happy. Warm Regards.
